Birthday Cake

God is time, the sun, the moon... God is around even when it seems like no one is there... It scares me sometimes to think about it. I often find myself talking out loud when i find myself confused with where the universe is taking me, and i usually soon get the answers to every question i had... 

During my most recent hospital stay after my hip replacement, I found myself questioning God a lot, why am i so young still going through these things? When will the hospital stays, the procedures end? Or is this still just the beginning? The next day after having that conversation with "myself" in the mirror, i met this nurse and she said something to answer every question i had alone. At first i couldn't help but to tear up as she was talking because i was in such  shock. God uses the people around us to sometimes tell us what we need to hear to let us know he is indeed listening.

What I was going through when I was in the hospital would never hit me until I was in my room alone, when everyone left... I would feel so alone, so I would talk to God, sometimes as a friend , but usually out of anger and confusion. I used to think , God can't possibly be hearing my cries, i've been in this hospital for two months ," but that was me being impatient. I sometimes forget I'm human and healing takes time, I had to do my own personal job of staying patient and keeping faith, although  that was so hard in dark times, that's exactly what I needed.

The summer of 2015, the flare that caused me the most damage, I remember crying out to God that I'm tired; tired of pain, tired of tears, and the only thing in that very moment that day that would make me feel better, is a piece of birthday cake. I'd literally jokingly put at the end of a prayer that a piece of birthday cake would be the only thing that could cheer me up. That same day my mom ended up arriving home early, I was in the restroom when she came in saying, "I know you haven't been feeling well, I have something that I think will cheer you up waiting for you on your bed." I quickly finished up to go see what it was. There behold a huge slice of birthday cake from one of my favorite bakery's , Piece of Cake. I had to go back to look at my text messages to be sure I didn't send to her and had that conversation with her instead of God, but no nothing. I went and checked my call log just to be sure... It was far from my birthday and I'd literally just said to what I thought was myself, that only a piece of birthday cake would make me happy that day. In that moment I not only realized that God was listening but that the universe also has a sense of humor...

I have so many examples of when God has proven he's listening. So much to where i have to watch what i say.  I asked God to remove certain people and distractions from my life, some people i wasn't exactly expecting to make the cut did and are no longer really apart of my life. After i caught on to the fact the universe actually listens my perspective changed.  And sometimes these signs aren't always a voice, they are sometimes opportunities and situations .  I now truly understand the quote " He might not come when you want him but he'll be there right on time." Its always when I'm whining and complaining when i feel like sometimes God makes himself so obvious to make me realize everything will be okay in due time ... As I said before, its so easy to get impatient, forget that we're human and that healing takes time, success takes time but as long as there is faith, the universe is wide open listening. When I asked God to take the pain away from my legs, i didn't think the solution would be them going numb, but it came right on time because i had just told myself I couldn't stand that pain not another second. That is when the next day, i woke up numb from the waist down, God had heard my cry...

God may not exactly answer us when we want but in due time it will reveal that God has been listening the entire time, waiting for the right moment to show us that everything will be ok. Throwing thoughts into the universe goes a lot deeper than most people are aware. I know you can't hear or see God, but be careful what you say, he's definitely listening and the universe is always manifesting...