Shoes

When people offer their knowledge and advice , it’s usually based off a personal experience or a method they used to get through a similar situation for themselves. As much as people quote “ Put yourself in my shoes , “ people often don’t and will imagine themselves in your situation but still not exactly in “ your “ shoes ...

When I was first diagnosed with transverse myelitis , i was basically given a list of things i could no longer do. Simple things like standing to bathe, or walking without some type of assistance , were a few things doctors told me would be a lot more difficult now and that i would most likely not be able to walk at all. In the hospital they then declared me a fall risk, putting an alarm on my hospital bed so i wouldn't get up alone and if i did the alarm would make a hideous sound and the nurses are supposed to come. They told me i strictly needed assistance to do just about anything...

Since transverse ,myelitis has made me incontinent , holding it to use the restroom had become very difficult but they still had the alarm on my bed , so i had to still wait for the nurses to come to use the bathroom. At one point i was afraid to even try on my own because they'd told me, from their knowledge, i wouldn't be walking again or not at least for a very long time. I abided by their rules, waiting for the nurses to come help me but many times by the time they got there i'd have had an accident. Well, one day i had to use the restroom really bad, like i mean REALLY freaking bad, so i pressed the nurses bell and waited for about a minute before i grabbed the walker and slowly placed one foot in front of the other. The bed alarm went off but luckily i'd made it to the toilet safely. They were annoyed by me because after that one time i began getting up by myself during every urgent situation. On the other hand, I was proud of myself for doing what they said i couldn't. They had told me according to my charts and what they knew, i wouldn't walk again, but i had to get up and try for my own knowledge. I understand people can only tell you things as far as they know. My doctors have never been through what I've gone through, but they try to find a solution to my problems as if they have experienced it themselves.

While i was just getting used to Lupus symptoms, being diagnosed with a piggy back disease sent me into a spiral of depression. I became very quiet, and stopped doing many things,even aside from what they had already told me i wouldn't be able to do. This lead those around me to worry, again giving me their personal opinions and advice. My parents were worried and even had their own friends and associates giving them bad advice. They were once told that it was thought i was on drugs, because my behavior had changed , i was less social, quiet, and emotional... At first i wanted to be mad but again , they concluded those assumptions from them Trying to put themselves in my situation, but with their own shoes own. Just because you would turn to drugs after being diagnosed with two life changing diseases doesn't mean i will. That's why i couldn't take all these opinions and "advice" to personally.

People mean well, but don't always give the most accurate advice when trying to help someone with a problem they've never experienced themselves. Most people aren't capable of imagining themselves in another persons situation which is why we have to be careful who we confide in and listen to. People can only give one sided perspectives or like doctors, go based off of "knowledge." They treat each patient the same although each is different, sometimes only to realize, they may have the same disease but they react totally different to the medications. What may work for one person may not work for the next. If I would have listened to the doctors and never tried to see how much I Could do, i would have never known, because according to their studies i wasn't supposed to recover any leg function. As long as you know in your heart you want something, there is always hope. As long as you yourself believe in what you CAN do, what your told you can't do shouldn't matter! No one human can totally accurately predict another persons fate, which is why you have to truly believe in yourself. As long as YOU believe, there's always hope... Its not that people don't want to take a walk in your shoes, your shoe just doesn't fit them...

#transversemyelitis #lupus #chronicillness #inspirational