Notice

Most will tell you when you go through tough times, you'll lose friends , even family. But they never really tell you how to cope with that or how to deal with those people. When going through a hard, life changing situation, you're already grieving. Grieving change, the loss of friends, social life, maybe an entire lifestyle... To those that have distanced yourself from a friend or family when they were going through tough times, they notice...

Its amazes, yet disturbs me how people do not live by," Treat people the way you would want to be treated."  That goes for many factors, relationships, respect, tough times, life overall...When I was diagnosed , the world seemed like it moved even faster when I was down. I would log on and see everyone still enjoying life, including my friends. " Well I'm alone in this, I'm the one diagnosed. My life had paused, not theirs.." But I had to start being realistic... Was it That hard to just post a comment , or shoot a message? Then I thought to myself, would I be this way if the shoe were on the other foot? But even with me having my physical challenges, I've made time and ways to go support my friends , whether the situation was good or bad. A lot of people think likes and emoji's under social media post is the equivalent of a human conversation and interaction. And when people would say something, it was usually that they would be by the next day, or would call. When I was in the hospital for long periods of time, I looked forward to those empty promises. Most people would go out their own way creating these false hopes , " Hey, I know its been a while I'll be by after I'm not busy tomorrow at 3:00!" [ Next day 6:00]

"Im so sorry, I'll come by next week." Next week never comes. And believe me, I noticed.

This usually takes you through the stages of grief. Starting with denial, that things aren't what they seem be, everyone really is just too busy; even if you do see them out that same night at the bar down the street from where they were supposed to visit you. Then there's anger and making up excuses for them; starting to realize the patterns, trying to figure out why, " Is it me, something I did?" Then you may actually start to believe it is just you. I thought it was my wheelchair at first. Maybe people thought it would be more work, maybe people didn't want to be seen with me... All these depressing thoughts that finally end up in acceptance. Realizing life happens in different ways to everybody and some people cope differently. Some people don't deal well with change, some people are afraid of change, some people are just meant to be in our lives for seasons; and some people really do just tuck their tales and run when the going gets tough. Whether its family or friends that do this, we just have to realize , even if you have a long history with a person, people are just people. No matter their reasoning for distancing themselves or just acting different , let it be their reason to themselves. Especially if its for reasons such as falling sick, something you can't help or a situation you didn't ask for. Going over why they distanced themselves will be a never ending cycle because they may never truly have a logical reason. Thats why we have to focus on those people that do stay. But its also okay to tell those close to you that start to drift away that you do Notice...