Rooted...

We all at some point of our lives experience joy, excitement, and fulfillment. We create dreams and goals to chase throughout life. Do things intentionally that bring us that happiness and build to regulate and reach those goals. But we also at some point experience loss, grief, depression, and lack motivation. I myself have had many of both, with both my journey with chronic illness and from just living life itself...

I now realize as I've matured through my journey, my life did not go at all how I planned after high school. I thought I was going to be a radical entrepreneur, owning a chain line of hair products and hair studios. But before I knew it, by my sophomore year of college, I had become "sick" and a stereotypical young "single" mother. At the time I thought my family, friends, and peers had grace for me since my diagnosis and pregnancy came about at the same time. Well, not exactly.

I began hearing the rumors and speculations... "Didn't she have that purity ring in high school? Isn't her mother a preacher? She was always like that, just pretended to be innocent. She'll be yet another young mother." WOW. Realizing what the world thought about young mothers, and on top of me being sick, just made me feel as if I was worth nothing. And it seems like when I assumed that mindset, the universe took it and had a ball with my mental health. It felt like everywhere I went people were looking down on me, and talking at me. It made me feel small, worthless, and invisible. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to try, why would I? People had seemed to have predicted I cant or wouldn't be anything.

I had become depressed until one day I literally heard, "Please stay. Please try. You've seen how weak you can be but now its time to get up and show how strong you are, and how strong we can be Together." The voice of God came through so clearly. It seems like after that day, I had a drive in me that even I could not understand. And I wasn't doing it to prove anybody wrong, but to prove to myself I CAN! When I was so low, hearing what people were saying, I thought their opinions held value but they never did. They tried to predict what I would or wouldn't do but God showed, only he and I carry that authority!

When I was on the verge of giving up, God pulled me back up. I'm so rooted in my faith in God, even through my doubts, and although the darkness got so dark, I know God was the light my roots needed to flourish... People looked at me as if I were a dying tree. At one point, everything in my life was going wrong, I became a single mother at the age of 20 while I was the weakest I'd ever been and people thought they knew me but they didn't know the power of my roots. By the eye, all they saw was my dying branches and fallen leaves. They couldn't see that my faith roots run deep. And once God watered me again, I came back New and Stronger! But I'm that same tree, with those strong roots that would not allow me to die, and as long as my roots are planted, I will never give in, I will never give up. Even when my branches and leaves fall off, I am Still Rooted...

Please, never let this world or people make you change or forget your Roots. Never allow anything to let you forget your worth. Stay Rooted in your Faith, Yourself, and your Worth...